Joke's On Me
by Bubblebean98
Summary: What would you do if you got another chance at life? Do you think you'd revolt back to your same habits or be someone entirely new? AU Trigger warnings will be noted at the top of possibly triggering chapters
1. Joke's On Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own DC or any of the characters I have used, this story is a making from my mind only.**

 **Warning: Contains child abuse, emotional/physical abuse, graphic depiction of violence, possible death/suicide and/or serious injury**

"Harley, I've got a little gift for you." Joker called. She heard her name being called and pretended to be asleep, an instant shiver of fear and regret running down her spine. She wondered how in the hell, after all these years she had been keeping it a secret from him, how all of a sudden he could just discover he had a daughter he didn't even know existed less than a week ago.

She had kept the secret successfully from her Puddin' for a good 5 years. He didn't even notice she was gone for a year, so she found it extremely hard to fathom that he could just find out on a regular Tuesday afternoon.

"Harley," he tiptoed behind her "I know you're not asleep." He sang maliciously.

"Please go away, please go away…." She said over and over again in her head. Harley really didn't feel like getting out of bed this morning, it was hard enough staggering into bed last night, she received a bad beating for betraying him, and she seriously doubted her punishment would just end there. Last night was one of the worst beatings of her life, and that was saying a lot; she wasn't even sure he was going to stop. However, he must have at some point because she woke up in the middle of the penthouse, Bud nosing and licking her still bleeding leg from where he had crudely carved "WHORE" into the top of her thigh with his pen knife.

"Harley!" He growled, yanking the sheets off of her, she flinched at the cold and brought her knees to her chest "come downstairs, I've got a surprise for you." Joker sat on the end of the bed.

"I don't wanna, I'm tired." She said flatly.

He grabbed her arm, forcefully twisting it in his hand, smiling as he heard the bone crack, making her whimper "You are MINE, Harley!" He reminded her, holding her up by her freshly broken arm and throwing her to the floor "You'll do well not to forget that." Joker snarled, pushing her chin up with his fingers, making her look at him; she refused and pulled her face away "come downstairs." Joker asked again, Harley stayed silent.

"Come downstairs!" He yelled, grabbing Harley's face and delivering a sharp backhand to her cheek, the rings he was wearing making the slap even more brutal.

Harley didn't seem to care about him hurting her anymore though, it was like she had just switched off, she didn't even flinch, only looked straight through the monster before her, making him all the more angry.

"It's not a request, Harley!" He growled, grabbing her wrist and dragging the petite woman to her feet, pulling her downstairs to their torture room.

* * *

"No!" She ran to the unconscious child sat in the chair, her blonde pigtails looking much like her mothers', only matted with blood, her blood "come on, Lucy, wake up for mama." Harley begged quietly, her entire body trembling as she tried tapping her child awake "What have you done?!" She screamed at him, he only laughed.

"Oh, baby, this is all on you." He tutted, shaking his head at her, smirking "I told you, I WARNED you, do not defy me." Joker chuckled.

"She's your DAUGHTER, Joker, how can you do this?!" She sobbed hysterically, trying to undo the restraints.

"I don't think that's a good idea is it." He chortled.

"I'm not afraid of you!" She yelled, continuing to untie her child.

"Harley, Harley, Harley," He mocked "we both know THAT isn't true." He smirked as he spoke his venomous words to the woman he once, stupidly, had feelings for "it's a shame really, you didn't used to be, you had so much…potential."

Harley pulled Lucy out of the wooden chair, holding the limp 4 -year old in her lap, cradling her, rocking her as Joker only laughed "You're okay, baby, you're okay, I'll get you away from him, I promise." She whispered in the child's ear as Lucy moaned quietly, murmuring something incoherent as she slowly regained consciousness.

"Now, Harley dear, you have a choice," he offered her a hand gun "the kindness of a bullet from her own mother or…."

"No!" Harley yelled, completely distraught "I won't kill our baby, Joker, you can't make me." She continued to rock her child, tucking Lucy's hair behind her ear as she tried to kiss her head wound better.

"We both know I can, Pooh." He shoved the gun into her hand, refusing to take no for an answer "either you kill her, or I will, and we both know I won't offer the same mercy as one lousy bullet."

"You're a monster." She said under her breath, staring at him with disbelief.

"You're only just now realising that." He mocked her "geez, toots, I thought you were smarter than that."

"Mommy?" Lucy said weakly, shaking with fear, her eyes half shut as she looked up at Harley. Harley only kissed her forehead. It occurred to her, something she hadn't even considered before, what had he done to her sister to be able to get to Lucy, how did he even know where her sister was?

"No, baby, just Auntie Harley." Harley tried to calm herself for her baby's sake.

"Oh, how sad, she doesn't even know who her real mommy is." Joker teased.

Harley grabbed the gun and tried to shoot Joker, failing miserably and only causing Lucy to scream and then cry more. She pulled her in closer, Lucy's head now buried in Harley's chest.

"Shut up, J." She grit her teeth, stroking her child's pigtails "I'm the one who lied to ya, Lucy's done nothin' let her go." Harley pleaded.

"Sorry, toots, can't do that." He laughed, grabbing his gun and shooting Lucy in the ankle, making her cry out.

"No, no, Lucy, it's okay, I promise it will be over soon." She said, tears running down her cheeks, making Joker raise a brow.

"Har, Har, Harley, it hurts." The child whimpered.

"I know, baby, I know, you're being so brave." Harley rubbed Lucy's back, taking the safety off the gun and holding it to the back of the child's head "This is all my fault, I'm so sorry, Lucy." She whispered in the 4-year olds ear.

Harley pulled the trigger and the child's whimpers stopped, silence filled the room "good girl." Joker whispered, smiling.

"No!" Harley burst into tears, wrapping her arms around her child before cocking the gun and holding it to her own head.

"I don't think so." Joker snatched the gun from Harley's hand, making her fall to the ground in despair, her and her baby wrapped up together on the cold tiled floor.

 **Author Note: Hi guys, I'm really sorry about how heavy this got but I feel it was necessary to show just how cruel and twisted Joker actually is towards Harley, actually not just Harley, he's cruel and twisted with everyone really.**

 **For the story that I'm preparing to make I feel like it was important to make literally the worst possible thing that Joker could do to Harley occur as due to her infatuation with him, I doubt even rape would prevent Harley from going back to "Mistah J", I mean, for goodness sake, he's thrown her out of a window and she still came back to him.**

 **Please let me know what you think of this chapter, I'd really appreciate your thoughts on it, also don't forget to follow if you want to see more as I don't have a set upload schedule.**

 **See you soon….**

 **BubbleB98**

 **P.S: For anyone who is reading Daddy's Lil Monster, a new chapter should be coming out soon, and if you haven't yet read it then I suggest you do as it stars a much kinder Joker**


	2. A Deal with the Devil

"Don't move or I shoot." Harley declared, standing in front of Waller, her hand gun aimed and ready, blood still on it from it's previous victim, the pure innocence of a child, her child. Her face was still streaked with tear stains and her red and blue checkered pyjamas were covered in her own baby's blood, she wanted it all to be over, Joker wouldn't allow that, she couldn't do it on her own, not without help from the devil which was exactly why she was in the office of Amanda Waller, she was the closest thing to the devil she knew, apart from Joker of course.

"Quinn." Waller folded her arms, barely looking fazed by the pistol pointed right at her "go ahead, shoot, there are about 20 guards just on this floor alone, and I bet they would love to take your sorry ass down." She smirked.

Harley shook her head mockingly, retrieving something from her pocket and throwing it to Waller "Ya think?"

She tilted her head slightly sideways, an ID badge for one of her top marksmen sitting beneath her feet "What do you want, Quinn?"

"I want you ta...to fix me."

"Fix you?"

"Make me forget Harley Quinn ever existed."

"And why would I do that, you've become quite the valuable asset to have. I could just have you arrested right now and enlist you right back into task force X. You may have killed all my guards but I still have the entire police force and American military under my command."

"The fact you haven't already got 'em here proves that's a bluff, you ain't got anyone Waller, face it, the only people willing to protect you in the vicinity of this building are dead as doornails, it's a shame really, a couple woulda made some excellent toys but I was in a rush."

"Even if that were true what makes you think I'd help YOU of all people."

"Oh, the fact that you can make a reformed citizen..."

"Ha! Reformed citizen my ass. What makes you think you deserve a second chance?"

Harley only shrugged

"...look at yourself, Quinn, stood here in your jammies,, covered in blood," Waller mocked her, watching as tears rolled down her bruised, pale face "you could have been so much more than THIS." She gestured "So I'll ask you again, what makes YOU think you deserve a second chance." Waller folded her arms.

"Because..." Harley tried to think, even she herself knew she didn't deserve one, she just wanted this sorry excuse of a life to end. She wiped her eyes as a smile appeared on her face "because if you can't help me know one can." She grinned insanely, holding the gun up to her temple.

"Now who's bluffing." Waller sighed, clearly bored "you and I both know that gun isn't going to fire, you may be crazy but you enjoy life too much."

"I will do it!"

"Go ahead, I'm not gonna stop you. You just better make sure you do the job right though 'cause if you don't I'm dragging your sorry ass back to jail." Waller hissed.

"I," Harley swallowed "I don't wanna die!" She wailed, falling to the ground. Waller could have made a move for the gun but she doubted Harley would shoot, then again this is Harley Quinn she was dealing with.

"I know.' She sighed, handing Harley a tissue from her desk.

"I-I don't understand...Why are you helpin' me?"

"Because as much as I hate you, I also need you..."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Oh we are slow when we're emotional aren't we." She mocked the young blonde.

"An assignment?"

"Of sorts." She nodded.

"How do I know this ain't some big trick. What do I get out of it?"

"What you want, to get away from Harley and The Joker."

"You mean..."

"A new life?" Waller suggested "If you do the mission of course that is..."

"How am I supposed to trust you?"

"I could ask you the same thing, what makes me think you're not bluffing, that you're not just gonna run off like you did Task Force X?"

"I guess you'll just have to trust me." Harley smirked.

"Trust you?" Waller laughed "no one trusts you."

"The pot said to the kettle." Harley shrugged.

Waller opened a drawer in her desk, retrieving a folder "We have this new chemical," she laid the case file flat on the table.

Harley slowly walked up to it, picking her gun up from the floor as she watched Waller flicking through the pages.

The authoritive woman practically blanked the gun, caring very little about the weapon once again being pointed at her "if given the right quantities, over 6 months it can change a persons brain chemistry, everything they are."

"Including memories?" Harley asked slowly, unsure of Waller's intentions.

"I have to warn you though, if the calculations to your body are even the tiniest bit out, then it could kill you."

"So, whadda you care?"

"I told you, you've become something of a valuable asset." Waller stated emotionlessly "Of course, I could just send you back to Belle Reve, but you are just the candidate for this experiment. So, what do you say?"

Harley flicked the safety of the gun across and placed it into her ankle holder.

"So we have a deal?" Waller affirmed, holding out her hand.

"What do I get in return for doing this...this thing?"

"I'll assure you safety from Joker and arrange accommodation for you elsewhere, somewhere far from Gotham, you can forget all about, how did you put it...you can forget all about Harley Quinn, that's if you live of course."

"I'll do it." Harley declared, shaking Waller's hand. Harley Quinn had just made a deal with the devil.

 **Author Note: Hey guys, sorry I know I haven't updated this story in a couple of months, literally forgot lol.**

 **Also I started art college recently which has been super fun but also really tiring because I have so much homework to do, yay(joking lol) I have this really cool new friend named Angel who's just as obsessed with Harley Quinn as I am so it's really super fun. Also also, I'm going to see Wicked soon(which I have never seen before in my entire life!) for Halloween with my friend SkySorrow so that's super fun too, I love Halloween, it's like amazing, I saw a cute plushie ghost in Clinton's the other day and I really wanted to buy it. I didn't. Oh well :)**

 **Anyway, I'm gonna shut the heck up now but don't forget to follow, fave and review, reviews are literally the best thing ever, not even joking. Can you tell I'm hyper on coke, crap that sounds like I'm taking drugs, I mean cola, Coca Cola. Anyhow, if you got to the end of the shit storm of an Author Note then seriously congrats cus it's a bloody mess!**

 **See ya later...**

 **BubbleB98**

 **X**


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